Martha Can Keep Our CD's

We took a little break from kupkake making. More importantly we took a break from Martha. We had a wonderful holiday season spending time with friends and family, eating too much, drinking even more. My liver is glad a certain friend went back to OSU.

I think we were both a little hesitant or maybe just apathetic about starting this kupkake thing back up. We always have fun but at some point it would be nice to bake something really tasty that we can brag about. I mean that’s really what this whole thing is about, right? Forcing people stroke our ego and shower us with praise? That’s hard to do when we keep baking mediocre kupkakes not worth their calorie count.

We have been in a relationship with Martha for almost 4 months now and the honeymoon phase is over. I feel like we have been dating the most popular guy in high school (she is THE Martha Stewart and all) but lately it has felt more like an abusive relationship. If this were an after school special we would be the girl trying to hide a black eye in gym class while Martha was high-fiving the other jocks by the lockers. (As an aside, letter jackets are being worn in this scenario and Martha looks ridiculous.) Well she isn’t going to tell us what to do or how to bake anymore! We are breaking up with you, Martha!

Who’s to say we won’t slip up and miss our Martha so much we give one of her recipes another chance in the future. Kind of like Winter Break back in college when you would go home, hang out with old friends, make out with your high school boyfriend to see if the spark is still there. It isn't. We should be old enough to know the “spark” is only there because of the shot of tequila you just took. It will be a huge mistake but we’re only human.

So this may not be a “forever” goodbye, but it most certainly is a “WE HATE YOU MARTHA. We never loved you. You don’t define us. It’s not me, it’s you. Lose my number. Oh, and I slept with one of your best friends.” That last one is a lie but it is the only one that will truly sting.

We are not throwing in the towel on this blog though. Our next endeavor will be to learn how to actually bake a good kupkake. We honestly didn’t think we would ever have to make the distinction between baking Martha Stewart kupkakes and baking a good kupkake but that is where we find ourselves.

In full disclosure, we did make a non-Martha, Christmas kupkake a few weeks ago but I never blogged about it. The kupkake was delightful. The recipe came from the back of a Braum’s brochure. It was some kind of dense, eggnog kupkake with fluffy eggnog icing. Here’s the best part…most of it came out of a box! We used a Pound Cake mixture then added a few things. Mostly eggnog. The icing though, that was all us and it might have been the best icing we have ever made. DO YOU HEAR THAT MARTHA?

This week, aka the final straw, we made Martha’s Blueberries-And-Cream Cupcakes. I’m not even going to write about them. They don’t deserve it. They were also ugly.

Suzanne did redeem the night by making the Neiman Marcus Chocolate Chip Cookies. I didn’t get a picture but they were so good and totally worth their calorie count. I know we can follow a recipe well enough to make edible treats. We cannot be as horrible as our ex lead us to believe.