Big or Small, Save Them All!

Some of this post will be about boobs. So fellas, stick around! We never offer much for our non female/non gay male readers but that’s because we don’t want to write about burping and scratching while fishing every week. Sorry Dads! I’m also extremely sorry I have addressed our fathers in the same paragraph I have talked about boobs. Where do I go with this from here? This is wrong.

Let’s (please) talk about this week’s kupkakes! We pushed ourselves with Martha’s Pastel Flower Cupcakes. Cuss words were said when Tana showed Suzanne the pictures from the cookbook. Bad ones, if I remember correctly. Just last week we got to make simple cookie/kupkakes that required no effort or skill or even icing. Perfect for underachievers/us. But it turns out even these two morons can make kupkakes look pretty.

Hold on though. This week was not exactly a success. Don’t be fooled by the pretty package. We’re convinced these kupkakes were not meant to be digested. I’m sure it was just an oversight by one of Martha’s staffers. There was clearly supposed to be a disclaimer at the bottom of the page letting us know that not only does the icing contain raw eggs but the taste may also induce dry heaving. Again, small oversight, mistakes happen, Martha is not trying to trick anyone. We actually saw this coming though since this icing was just a pinker version of the Meringue Buttercream Icing we made for the witch kupkakes. This is the icing that calls for FOUR sticks of butter. FOUR. This is ridiculous. So we called an audible half way through whisking and decided to reduce the number of sticks to just THREE. This is still ridiculous.

There was one person who liked the icing. Eddie. She was pleading that we “FOLLOW THE RECIPE! DO IT LIKE MARTHA TOLD YOU TO!” She didn’t really yell but she did keep repeating herself. This was odd to us until Tana remembered a story about how her mom used to beg her own mother for butter (like normal kids do for candy) until they would give in and just hand her an entire stick. I love this visual. Eddie in the corner of the kitchen, stick of butter in hand, the wrapper folded down but butter all over her hands and face, my Grandma shaking her head and starting to worry about what kind of animal she was raising. Only this kind of person, with this kind of love for butter could eat these kupkakes.

I don’t have any opinions on the cake part of the kupkake because it just doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that we will never make Martha’s Meringue Buttercream Icing ever again. This is going to require a bit of improvisation on many future kupkakes which means we are opening up a lot of room for self inflicted failure. Not unlike so many other areas of our lives.

Now for the part about boobs. We made these pink kupkakes for a luncheon to raise money for a lovely, funny, positive, sweet, charming, brave co-worker. I didn’t get her permission to use her name so I will refer to her as K. (Just try to guess which letter her name starts with.) K is battling breast cancer right now but you would never know it if you talked to her. Sure most women would notice the wig but apart from that change she is just as kind and bubbly as she always has been. I don’t know how women like her (or anyone battling something so toxic and draining as cancer) do it. I don’t know how they get up and get dressed, not to mention how they walk around with a smile and share pleasantries. K takes this a step further and makes us laugh with her. She is infectious. She hasn’t missed a beat at work and she is approaching the next few challenging weeks with determination and humor. I only wish we could have made something a little more edible for her and her party.

Good luck K!

Now for the guys that managed to read all of that post:

Save the boobs!